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Post by terryrob on Sept 30, 2007 21:53:46 GMT
I thought I'd try this on eoc forum. I think a few of you out there will be able to add to these quotes, we all like a tipple or two, (a bit more in my case). : The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Give it a go, hic  |
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Post by sammss on Sept 30, 2007 22:01:44 GMT
I saw thses on another site......they are funny! Post up some more ;D. I may have some later  |
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Post by sammss on Sept 30, 2007 22:10:14 GMT
MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa!Aa! Aa!".
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks
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Post by terryrob on Sept 30, 2007 22:21:48 GMT
I did try it on aac but no body wanted to play, but you do, they are great lol  |
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Post by terryrob on Sept 30, 2007 22:24:46 GMT
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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Post by sammss on Sept 30, 2007 22:25:32 GMT
Yours were great. I did pmsl at them ;D
I knew you had more!!!
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Post by terryrob on Sept 30, 2007 22:29:03 GMT
Wow, ur replies are lightening, no wonder ur top poster, lol ;D
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Post by sammss on Sept 30, 2007 22:29:08 GMT
Hey TKC!
You must have some drinking quotes after your weekend away ;D
Ommpah.......Oompah!
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Post by terryrob on Oct 4, 2007 20:38:27 GMT
The value of a drink
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .
If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Jack Handy
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Post by terryrob on Oct 7, 2007 22:16:40 GMT
another one
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!
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Post by terryrob on Oct 7, 2007 22:19:17 GMT
and again WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you  |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 7, 2007 22:22:08 GMT
and again
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
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Post by sammss on Oct 7, 2007 22:32:42 GMT
Lovin em Am unsure as to how you know so many drinking quotes Terry  |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 9, 2007 19:17:46 GMT
Probably spending more years than I like to remember being a p***head, lol ;D
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Post by sammss on Oct 14, 2007 19:25:21 GMT
There are worse things you could be matey More drinking quotes.......... One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. I'm on an alcohol diet - so far I've lost two days! Drinking doesn't cause hangovers, waking up does. I have a drink problem - two hands & only one mouth. (Yes, I realise they are not that funny, but I got them out of the Argos catalogue, so what do you expect?!?) |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 14, 2007 21:25:57 GMT
I think you know more than me These are new to me, must add them to my collection lol ;D just found this one WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. |
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Post by Gary on Oct 14, 2007 21:29:35 GMT
What the Hell where you drinking  |
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Post by sammss on Oct 14, 2007 21:32:33 GMT
pmsl! I have to ask why the hell you were wearing bra & panties |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 14, 2007 21:35:33 GMT
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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Post by terryrob on Oct 14, 2007 21:37:02 GMT
 , the secrets out |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 14, 2007 21:39:30 GMT
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."  |
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Post by sammss on Oct 14, 2007 22:12:44 GMT
;D Hey! Congrats on your new baby then mate  |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 14, 2007 22:47:31 GMT
LOL Thanks, Terri New members must be well confused by now ;D |
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Post by sammss on Oct 14, 2007 23:14:32 GMT
Well I am ;D ;D Hey Terry! I have joined this wicked new web forum & I am fitting in really well. It is called "wineosathome". Maybe you ought to join also ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by sammss on Oct 15, 2007 10:13:38 GMT
ooops - my mistake  There is no "o" in the spelling!!! |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 16, 2007 20:45:01 GMT
lol right up your (our) street  |
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Post by sammss on Oct 16, 2007 21:27:10 GMT
I dunno how I stumbled across it really - just happened |
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Post by terryrob on Oct 16, 2007 21:47:45 GMT
It was meant to be ;D ;D ;D
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Post by sammss on Oct 16, 2007 21:50:30 GMT
It's brilliant!!!
They have already introduced me to a new game that I wanna play ;D
Get ready..........
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Post by terryrob on Oct 16, 2007 22:00:48 GMT
This should be good  |
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, the secrets out 
